Whether becoming a parent at 15, 17 or 19, from first-hand experience, they would not recommend teenage pregnancy or parenthood to anyone.
South Africa recorded 132 280 deliveries for girls aged 10-19 from March 2022 until April this year.
Of all the teenage girls who fell pregnant, about a third stayed in school during their pregnancy and returned following childbirth, with the highest return rate among those in Grade 12, the provincial Department of Social Development said.
The Cape Times spoke to three young people from across the province, both male and female, who became parents at different ages - 15, 17 and 19 - on the impact it has had on their lives.
“My girlfriend failed her matric year because she was pregnant and had a baby,” said a 20-year old from Manenberg, who became a father at the age of 19.
“It was my first year in college, my girlfriend was in matric. We had been in a relationship for about two years. We never used protection.
“We spoke about the injection, but she never went on it. When I found out she was pregnant, I was shocked because I couldn’t believe I was going to be a father.
“That year was hectic for both of us.
I couldn’t focus at college. “For her it was even worse, she had so much on her plate with a baby and still having to sit with books. She didn't have time. She failed and she had to rewrite.
“The child is one (year old) now. When he was born I wasn’t working so when my mom didn’t have money, I had to stress about where the child would get nappies and milk.
“Now that I'm working, it's okay because I can take care of them.”
Speaking about the impact on his social life, he said for a man it was different than for a girl.
“I can still go out or so; the mom has to sit with the child. The child is not always with me; he lives with his mom.
“She is going to start working next month. If I could do things differently I would have waited because I feel I’m not ready to be a father. He is here now, he is a blessing.”
The impact of being pregnant at 15 years old still haunts a Plettenberg Bay woman who is now 33 years old.
“It was devastating. The moment I found out I was pregnant, it felt like my thoughts were stuck in four corners. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I would tell my parents.
How would I be able to provide? I was still a child. At some stage I had to go to school with morning sickness.
“I failed my Grade 10 because of that. I kept falling asleep at school, when children looked at me funny, then I felt down the whole day.
“Me and my dad didn’t talk for weeks but we lived in one house.
“Up until today, it still makes me emotional. If it (pregnancy) didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have experienced so many negative things in my life.
“If only I had just listened to my brother and my mother. After my first baby, I wasn’t allowed back in school after two years; it was 2008.
“There was a rule, you must bond with the child for two years.
“They had nothing on paper to show, which meant only the principal was being funny.
“It messed up my life, I couldn’t finish my last year. When I wanted to go back after two years, they told me I was too old.”
She added that the financial burden was challenging.
“You have to feed yourself and another person, life is not cheap.”
For another 28-year-old from Mossel Bay, she said it took one sexual encounter without a condom at the age of 17, and she fell pregnant.
“The pregnancy was not easy. I was alone. My parents didn’t know; I was good at hiding it. I collected all the money I got every month and planned to leave. I ended up sending my mother a message because I had to tell her, I was almost eight months and starting to show. The baby’s father was in denial, so I had to go through that as well. There was a lot of bickering between myself and the baby’s father’s family.
“They wanted to control what I should name the child, etc. He never really had an active role in the child’s life, he would still go his own way.”
Today the mother is stronger, working and pursuing her studies in education, but she would not recommend teenage pregnancy.
“Raising a child on your own, your life is put on hold for a while.
“I am going through the most with my son. I am sharing my story in the hope that I can save even one girl so she can learn from my mistakes.”
Spokesperson for Social Development MEC Sharna Fernandez, Monique Mortlock-Malgas, said: “Teenage mothers face particularly difficult barriers around their ‘changing social status’. In some ways they are still considered ‘schoolchildren’ and treated as such, but in other ways they are ‘mothers’ and expected to be mature adults responding to those responsibilities.”
Cape Times
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