How to handle the ex factor?

Break-ups are frequently messy and leave you with a shared past that you didn't ask for. Picture: Keira Burton/ Pexels

Break-ups are frequently messy and leave you with a shared past that you didn't ask for. Picture: Keira Burton/ Pexels

Published Sep 4, 2022

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In a perfect world, you exit one relationship amicably and begin a new one. No more links, no more memories, no more bitterness in the heart. But the world is not perfect where we live.

Break-ups are frequently messy and leave you with a shared past that you didn't ask for. How do you handle that?

Dating app QuackQuack polled people in the 21–35 age group to learn their thoughts on bringing up the ex with the current partner.

According to the report, 61% of people discuss their ex-partner with their current companion. They advocate talking to your partner about anything that is upsetting you.

However, 39% of people are concerned that it might damage their relationship. Talking about your ex is like wading into uncharted territory.

Healthy relationship check

Talking about their ex with their new spouse shows that they are in a solid and stable relationship, according to 47% percent of women between the ages of 25 and 30.

They agreed that the present partner must have endured at least a few heartbreaks. There shouldn't be any justification for being reluctant to discuss the past.

Up until the point when it begins to compromise their mental health, everyone aspires to be a tough cookie. You'd feel lighter and happier after talking about your ex and the pain that the break-up caused.

Trauma bonding

According to the poll, 56% of those over 30 talk about their ex-partner, but they claim that the dialogue is really about the trauma they caused each other rather than the ex. Their relationships are frequently strengthened by listening to each other's stories. Some mentioned focusing on the positive aspect of their exes. While it is tempting to wax lyrical about the said ex, that is not a healthy approach.

Hung up on your ex?

Of the users in the 18–25 age group, 38% of those polled said they would prefer not to discuss their ex or related topics with their spouse.

They believe that bringing up the subject of your ex could indicate that you have feelings for them still. It's best to move on from the past.

Some people commented that it is unfair to cast your current beau in the same light as your former. Regularly bringing up your ex can harm the relationship in the long run.

Break-ups are frequently messy and leave you with a shared past that you didn't ask for. Picture: Alex Green/ Pexels

Red flag, green flag

Do you get into arguments with your partner every time they bring up their ex? Consider what 43% have to say about such behaviour.

They stated that they thought it was a major red flag in the relationship. These women were interested to learn why insignificant comments about someone who had played a role in your life cause such controversy.

They believed that a man who was confident in himself would never display such behaviour.

An oddball

Of the men who participated in the survey, 52% of those in the 30–35 age group thought it was strange if their spouse never brought up their ex.

Some of these guys disclosed that it could be a bad sign if their spouse was evasive in conversations about their ex or appeared to be withholding some information about their previous relationship.

Brawl with bae

The investigation revealed certain dangerous trends among younger participants, compared with their older counterparts. According to 26% of women aged 21 to 25, bringing up an ex or even just using their name had led to unpleasant arguments and unneeded pressure in the relationship.

QuackQuack Founder and CEO Ravi Mittal stated, “It is crucial to understand how much is too much.” An open conversation with your partner about your past suggests a perfectly healthy relationship. It works to bring you closer to your partner."

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