Dating scams: Investigator says red flags are always present, and men are also being swindled
Numerous South African women have in the past month spoken to IOL about how they were scammed — some losing millions after being encouraged to take out bank loans or resign from work to withdraw their pensions, all to take the money to their lover.
In the ongoing scammed series, IOL has tracked some of the scammed women to provinces including Mpumalanga, Gauteng and Limpopo, where the alleged scammers are freely roaming the streets and at times show off their newly-acquired wealth on social media platforms.
Seasoned forensic investigator and anti-crime campaigner, Calvin Rafadi, said in almost all cases of dating scams, there are red flags which are apparent at the early stages of the romantic relationship.
He warned that women who have recently found love, but are noticing the signs must not ignore the early warning, because they could be wading into a scam in the name of love.
The scammers are complete strangers to the women who get involved with them in relationships.
Majority of the scammers are not using their real names throughout the love relationship, and in the four recently published stories, the scammed women told IOL that their scammers were originally from Uganda.
Some of the women, through thorough investigations, have unearthed the scammer boyfriends’ real names and villages of origin.
“These particular scammers come under a name ‘washa-washa’, that is what they are called. I would like to urge the followers and readers of IOL to be observant, because there are red flags which one can pick up in the love relationship,” Rafadi said.
“When a woman begins a love relationship with these people, she quickly becomes invited to the boyfriend’s place of residence. At the house, she will be introduced to what is called a prayer room where the boyfriend and his family claim they speak to their ancestors, or a prophetic voice of someone who is not visible in the dark room,” he said.
“That is the set up of a scam. That invisible person will be hiding somewhere especially in a concealed cupboard. In some instances, the unsuspecting woman while in the prayer room receives a call from a private number. The voices then convince her to do all she can to bring money to the boyfriend.”
Rafadi said all this is prudently planned and carefully staged before even the scammer meets the woman and proposes love.
In some instances, the men quickly gift a ring to the woman in just a few weeks after meeting, to quicken the process of sweeping her off her feet and confuse her judgement.
Whenever the unwitting woman visits the boyfriend’s place of residence, the family insists she drinks something, even water.
Some of the scammed women told IOL that they believe that this water or food was spiked with unknown substances including muthi, aimed at further interfering with their mindset.
After drinking the water, the woman then enters the prayer room with the boyfriend, where she gets stunned by voices speaking to her directly, claiming to be the boyfriend’s ancestors. The boyfriend also acts shocked.
Through several acts including trucks full of papers claimed to be bank notes, the voices then seal the scamming process by telling the woman to approach different banks to get cash loans, or to resign from her job and bring her pension lump sum.
After the woman hands over her hard-earned money in the prayer room, in coming days she will get the shock of her life when suddenly she is cut off from all communication by her lover.
When she goes to the premises where she handed over her money, she then finds out that all the residents have packed up and left, including her boyfriend.
Rafadi told IOL that many women, who have been scammed, cannot report cases because the scammers recorded nude videos or have taken compromising pictures of them.
The women who are often civil servants and mothers, are then threatened that if they speak out about being swindled, their pornographic videos or pictures would be leaked on social media.
Feeling overwhelmed and powerless, some women have reportedly committed suicide after being left destitute, and with a million questions from their families and society.
“The scammers are also using blackmail. Once they record your nude pictures or pornographic videos, they tell you that you cannot report the case,” he said.
In the cases probed by IOL, the scammers are happy to indulge in sexual intercourse with the love-struck women. The sexual intercourse is done at a place, often a lodge, chosen by the scammer, increasing the possibility of hidden cameras being set up beforehand.
Rafadi warned that men are not immune to these scams.
“Men are also being lured to resign from work, take out their pensions and bring it to prayer rooms. In this scheme, the men would have been sold a fake business idea which the scammers say it would triple the unsuspecting man’s money,” he said.
Part of the scam often starts with the unsuspecting man or woman being approached at a public place, particularly a shopping mall, by a person or persons who claims to have a vision from the ancestors, or from God.
Some of the women are approached at their workplaces by men who seem to have come for the genuine business of the work environment. Days later, the man starts to express personal feelings to the woman. Some women met their scammers on dating apps.
In other scams, people are shown money tainted in ink and they are told that if they make a financial contribution towards buying the special chemical needed to wash the stained money, they would receive a percentage of the washed money. The expensive chemical, in the story told to the unsuspecting victims, would be imported from overseas.
IOL is running the #Scammed series, where dozens of South African women have frantically been knocking on several doors, after their romantic relationships with men who are not easily traceable end.
In a desperate bid to speak out, the scammed women from different parts of South Africa have regrouped, holding hands in their bid to raise awareness on the rampant romantic scams.
Contrary to popular belief, the targets of scammers are not only rich women, but also middle-income earning women. With the facilitation of the scammers, the women are induced to take out unsustainable bank loans and hand over the cash. The instruction to bring money happens in the dark prayer rooms where items like Bibles are a common feature.
On Thursday, IOL featured the story of a Gauteng-based woman, Sbongile Dlamini (not her real name) who lost almost R1 million after she hooked up with a Ugandan man, who did not waste time in popping out a ring, requesting her hand in marriage, and inviting her to his home at Sandton.
Sibongile said after she realised that she was scammed, she tried to open cases at different police stations and the police officers would at times laugh at her. The Directorate for Priority Crime Investigation (also known as the Hawks), finally took over her case.
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