Breast cancer survivors share emotional toll on families
|Published
Breast cancer survivors, Suraiya Nawab and Tshepi Moropa, have expressed how cancer is emotionally taxing for the support structure of cancer patients.
Moropa and Nawab made their remarks on Tuesday at the Profmed breast cancer awareness high tea in Rosebank, Johannesburg.
As an athlete brand and sponsorship manager and crossfit enthusiast, Moropa felt sceptical upon her breast cancer diagnosis.
After seeing her doctor for a flu check, she was referred to an oncologist, and in 2021, she received a breast cancer diagnosis.
Upon being diagnosed with cancer, Moropa worried about her healing journey, especially as a single mother.
Despite the strong support system in her life, Moropa’s daughter bore the emotional and mental brunt of her mother’s illness at the age of six.
“It was emotionally and mentally taxing for my daughter, because she had no business going through that at just six or seven years old. She had to turn up for me – she had to be up at night when I was nauseous. You could see when she wanted to know when this was going to end,” said Moropa.
Moropa stated there were days she contemplated not going to chemotherapy, as she believed her daughter’s childhood was being robbed.
“I remember contemplating I did not want to go chemotherapy because she’s got a test the next day. It’s not fair, but then I wanted to stay alive for her. It is emotionally taxing on the people who support you. Some showed up for me, but you could tell they did not know what to do. However, they did not know that their being there for me, and helping me with my daughter, was great enough for me,” said Moropa.
Nawab, who is a life coach and director of the Muslim AIDS Programme and Islamic Careline, stated her journey to healing from breast cancer took an emotional toll on her family.
Nawab was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer in 2012.
“It was a role reversal, I used to be the nurturer at home. Everyone took over everything at home. I have vivid memories, my husband and kids used to take turns for my chemotherapy and radiation therapy.
“My daughter is a medical doctor, she used to be very present and checked my drip (whether it’s running). Over the two years of treatment, they were there all the time and gave a lot emotionally,” said Nawab.
Similar to Moropa, Nawab said that she was in denial when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Nawab explained that she felt an unusual lump on her breast during a trip with her husband in the US, and she immediately went for a mammogram after landing in the country.
She noted she had to face the reality of dying.
“The big one (cancer) for me, is to face your mortality. It is a humbling experience. You realise life does carry on even after your death,” said Nawab.
She further highlighted that cancer immensely impacts intimacy between partners.
“Not all partners can survive (breast cancer); it brings up a whole disruption in partnerships,” said Nawab.
Both women hailed the strong support of their oncology medical team, in particular, the nurses and caregivers.
They additionally said cancer has an emotional and psychological long-term effect on cancer patients’ families and friends.
Moropa explained her daughter had to switch into adulthood to tend to her while battling breast cancer.
“It’s emotionally taxing, especially on a child. It was not worth it to see her in that way. There are parts of that journey she carries with her, she will never be the same again. She had to grow up fast,” said Moropa.
Nawab added: “Them (family) being there is important, but it emotionally drains them, while they all have jobs. I will forever be thankful to them. It has had an impact on them for a long time.”
The Star
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