Durban father, who faced lift tragedy, calls on men to support their children in times of crisis
Khaya Dlamini with his daughter Aphile who is recovering after suffering critical injuries when she fell down a lift shaft at the HOMii apartment complex in the Durban CBD.
Image: Khaya Dlamini / Facebook
More than two months after a tragic incident at HOMii Flats claimed the life of his eight-year-old son and left his twin daughter critically injured, Khaya Dlamini has shared a powerful message calling on fathers to be present in their children’s lives, particularly during times of illness and crisis.
Seven-year-old twins Aphelele and Aphile Dlamini, fell down the lift shaft. Aphelele died at the scene, while his twin sister was critically injured.
Dlamini recently posted a photograph of himself with his daughter Aphile, who has now regained consciousness and is recovering following months in hospital. He later released a video message reflecting on his time at the hospital and urging men to take responsibility for their children.
“I want to pass this message to fellow men regarding our children. When you're a real man, please love your children and be there for them. Do not desert them but always be there. Especially to children that are facing illness and are in hospitals,” he said.
Dlamini said he remained at the hospital from October 18 without missing a single day visiting his daughter, who sustained severe injuries after falling into a broken lift shaft at the residential complex. The incident shocked the community and prompted an investigation, while the family faced both loss and uncertainty as Aphile fought for her life.
“I stayed at the hospital from the 18th of October until now. I never missed a day to visit my child,” he said.
During that time, Dlamini said he observed a troubling pattern among families with hospitalised children. “While I was at the hospital I realised a lot of things. Children were sick and others injured, and I noticed that there are mothers who stayed in the hospital with their children. However, during visiting hours, you’d hardly see fathers coming in to check on them. Very few fathers showed up for their children during the time I spent at the hospital.”
He appealed directly to men to change this reality. “I am pleading with men to change this. In this generation may we be the men to change this. Let us love our children, show up for them, fight for them and be real men.”
Acknowledging that family separations are common, Dlamini urged fathers not to allow conflict with a child’s mother to affect their role as parents.
“I understand that perhaps you and the mother have separated but I ask that you put that aside, do not put that on your child and abandon them. You do not know the future so show up, at least once.”
He also emphasised the emotional and psychological importance of presence for hospitalised patients.
“For someone who is sick at the hospital, when you come visit them, your presence alone makes a difference. No matter they’re in a coma, unable to speak or whatever situation they may be in, when you hold their hand and speak to them they can hear you.”
Reflecting on the challenges he has faced since the October tragedy, Dlamini said fatherhood requires courage and faith. “When you're a man you face challenges head on and place your faith in God.”