In the month of mental health awareness, Lysa TerKeurst’s Forgiving what you can’t forget, serves as a reminder on the path towards forgiveness.

Forgiveness can be difficult, particularly when the person who hurt you isn’t remorseful.

TerKeurst begins by reflecting on how resentment can weigh us down, making it difficult to move forward and experience joy. She also addresses something crucial: how we sometimes pretend to forgive - what she calls "posturing".

Recognising this cycle is a crucial step toward healing. Although the book is rooted in Christian teachings, its lessons offer valuable insights for anyone grappling with unresolved pain.

To help guide you, she takes a practical approach by breaking down the process into real and manageable steps, from identifying emotional triggers to understanding that forgiveness involves both letting go and moving forward. She shares some of her own struggles, ensuring the book feels grounded and real.

A strong theme throughout the book is empathy for others and ourselves. It is emphasised that being kind to ourselves can help soften anger and foster healing. We cannot control what others do, but we can control how we respond to it. This sense of personal responsibility is empowering - reminding us that we’re not helpless victims but we have the ability to reclaim our emotional well-being.

Two quotes drew my attention to this: “I am a soul who likes the concept of forgiveness... until I am a hurting soul who doesn’t,” and “Staying here, blaming them, and forever defining your life by what they did will only increase the pain.”

The book aims to free us from a constant state of offense, illustrating what life could look like when we release the pain from our past experiences.

Forgiving what you can’t forget by Lysa Terkeurst can obtained at Loot.co.za and Exclusive Books

Cape Times