Lessons at 25: Neevan Ferris on navigating friendships, finances and finding peace

There’s something wildly humbling about turning 25 as a woman. One minute you’re thriving on iced coffee and bad decisions, the next your frontal lobe starts developing, and suddenly everything makes sense and also hurts.

You wake up with new opinions, a lower tolerance for nonsense, and an overwhelming urge to protect your peace

That’s exactly the stage Cape Town influencer Neevan Ferris tapped into when she shared the lessons she’s learnt at 25, “against my will,” as she says.

First up: friendships. Or rather, the slow, awkward shedding of them. “Not everyone is meant to stay in your life. Some people are just lessons, not lifetime subscriptions,” Ferris says.

Painful, but true. As a millennial, this one lands hard. That bestie you thought would be there for the “restie” is now on a mission trip somewhere overseas, posting sunsets and Bible verses, and you only interact via the occasional Instagram like.

And that’s okay. Growing up means realising not every friendship is meant to grow old with you; some are just meant to grow you.

Then she tackled hustle culture, and bless her for it. “I don’t know who needs to hear this, but burnout is not a flex. Being tired 24/7 does not make you successful.”

And she’s right. Somewhere along the line, social media convinced us that waking up at 5am, running 10km, journaling, meditating and starting a side hustle before sunrise is normal. Since when did life start moving in fast forward? Who authorised this schedule?

Ferris also reminded us that nobody actually knows what they’re doing in their twenties. “If you do, congratulations. Most of us are Googling everything, pretending we’re fine.”

And honestly, facts.

We grew up watching our parents get married at 22, buy a house at 23 and have kids by 24. Meanwhile, we’re out here at 25 still standing in the cereal aisle before varsity or work, paralysed by choice and wondering how our parents made adulthood look so effortless.

Money? Another sore spot. “Money leaves faster than it arrives. Budgeting is boring, but being broke is worse.” If you don’t know this lesson yet, congratulations on your soft life. The rest of us are kruiping (crawling) regardless of job title, degree or LinkedIn bio.

Ferris ended on a note we all need framed on our walls: choosing peace is better than proving a point. This is the real glow-up. At 25, you start to realise that life is too short to argue over ego, petty drama, or outdated expectations.

Choosing peace doesn’t mean being passive; it means valuing your mental and emotional health above unnecessary conflict. It’s learning to step back, breathe, and let go of things that don’t serve you.

In a world that constantly tells us to fight for everything, Ferris reminds us that sometimes the bravest thing you can do is walk away from the chaos.