Don't fall for romance scams this Valentine's Day: Spot the red flags

As Valentine's Day approaches and many South Africans search for companionship, the Southern African Fraud Prevention Service (SAFPS) is warning the public to remain vigilant against a surge in romance scams.

February is traditionally associated with love and connection, but it has also become a peak period for emotionally manipulative fraud. According to the SAFPS, criminals are increasingly using sophisticated, technology-enabled tactics to exploit people seeking genuine relationships.

“Romance scams are no longer obvious. They are highly elaborate, psychologically engineered, and technologically enabled,” says Manie van Schalkwyk, CEO of the SAFPS. “While romance scams are a reality all year round, scammers actively target and exploit people’s emotions more around Valentine’s Day. We want South Africans to be alert, informed, and protected.”

Social media platforms and dating applications have become mainstream channels for meeting new people. While these platforms offer convenience and accessibility, they also provide fertile ground for fraudsters.

Van Schalkwyk explains that scammers are adept at constructing profiles that reflect a victim’s ideal partner. They present themselves as attractive, attentive, emotionally available, and aligned with shared interests.

“They study what people want and then present themselves as the perfect match. Once the initial connection is made, they invest significant time in building a relationship, gaining trust, and emotional intimacy,” he says.

This process, known as social engineering, involves manipulating a person’s behaviour and the information they share online to influence or deceive them.

“People underestimate how powerful emotional engineering can be,” says Van Schalkwyk. “Scammers don’t just steal money; they steal trust, dignity, and emotional security.”

According to the SAFPS, romance scammers typically follow a recognisable behavioural pattern.

They first identify emotional vulnerability, targeting individuals who appear lonely, recently divorced, widowed, or isolated. By monitoring online activity including comments, likes, and posts, scammers gather insights that help them tailor their approach.

They then create emotional dependency. Daily messages, excessive compliments, and declarations of affection are used to accelerate intimacy. Victims are made to feel “chosen,” “seen,” or uniquely understood.

Isolation follows. Scammers may subtly discourage victims from discussing the relationship with friends or family, insisting that “others won’t understand” or that the connection is special and private.

Once emotional dependency is established, financial manipulation begins. Requests may initially appear minor but often escalate. Scenarios frequently involve urgent medical expenses, school fees, travel costs, or claims of banking difficulties.

“They are very good at making the victim believe they are too embarrassed to ask, but that they will be forever in their debt,” Van Schalkwyk explains.

When the money stops or suspicion arises, the scammer disappears, leaving victims emotionally devastated and financially compromised.

“Romance scams are psychological warfare,” says Van Schalkwyk. “They are designed to break down defences and exploit human emotion. That’s why awareness is our strongest defence.”

Despite their increasing sophistication, romance scams often display warning signs.

The SAFPS highlights evasiveness and avoidance of in-person meetings as a key indicator. Scammers may show intense interest in a victim’s life while refusing video calls or face-to-face interaction, often citing elaborate excuses.

Unusual interest in personal details is another concern. A sudden focus on birthdays, children’s names, pet names, or other sensitive information can enable impersonation fraud, account access, password resets, or fraudulent credit applications.

Requests for money remain a central red flag, whether framed as emergencies, airtime, data, medical procedures, or urgent travel needs. Similarly, offers of high-return investment opportunities that appear “too good to be true” are frequently part of broader financial scams.

“These scams are becoming increasingly convincing and can involve a wide variety of tactics,” says Van Schalkwyk. “But if something feels off, trust your instincts. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.”

The SAFPS urges individuals to limit the amount of personal information shared publicly online, remain sceptical of unsolicited contact, and never transfer money or share confidential details with someone they have not met and verified.

Victims are encouraged to report incidents to relevant organisations, platforms, authorities, and through the Yima reporting function or Yima scams hotline.

“The Yima website (www.yima.org.za) hosts a scam prevention toolbox for South Africans to report scams and scan websites for vulnerabilities related to scams. Additionally, consumers can expand their knowledge of how to identify a scam through useful articles and tips,” he says.

For more stories from The Mercury, click the link THE MERCURY