Why should we try to shout less at our children?

Dictionary.com defines shouting/yelling as to call or cry out loudly and vigorously. But why do we shout? Most people shout because it is their coping mechanism when they are angry. When your children don’t listen or when the play becomes wild, parents scream and shout, and we feel guilty afterwards. Kiddy’s chart provides some useful tips below:

What are the effects of persistent shouting on children?

1. Self-confidence. children who are constantly shouted at rarely see themselves as worthy individuals. Their perception of themselves is of insignificant being that lacks the ability to impact his/her society.

2. Fear. Many children who are shouted at become fearful. This timidity can cause children to struggle with developing friendships.

3. Aggression. Children who have been shouted at consistently reach the age of 4 or 5, displaying aggressive behaviour. They will act out, sometimes even invade personal space, pushing, hitting and biting.

4. Concentration problems. Lack of concentration is one of the results of emotional abuse. Children who have learnt to “tune out” shouting do so to temporarily defend themselves against the verbal assault.

What can we do to reduce shouting?

• It is difficult never to shout, so try to be realistic about your circumstances;

• Think about the trigger situations and try to avoid them; and

• Look at the number of times you praise versus the number of times you shout.

If you do shout …

• Explain to your children that sometimes you do get cross and you are sorry.

• Try to make sure you do not say things that are harmful. For example, refrain from name calling and explain it is their behaviour, not them, that is upsetting you.

• And when you are angry with your partner, try to sort it out away from the children.

• Children are likely to shout too. Try your best to get to their level and talk to them calmly instead.

Shout out about your love to them instead …

• Let your children know that you value their help.

• Let your children know that mistakes are important because they are a way of learning.

• Let your children know often that you love them and you are proud of them.

• Encourage your children to always try.

• Civil society organisations call on the itnl' community to ensure the right to education for all

• Are South African fathers really absent from their children’s lives?

• Our schools as killing fields